What follows is some vital travel information that you simply must read.
1. Don’t take an overnight bus from Delhi to Nanital Hill Station in India because you will spend the entire time screaming, praying, hugging your children and telling them you love them and you are very sorry you didn’t take the train.
2. Don’t buy an unknown lice treatment product in Thailand for your young daughter as it will make her scream and you will think you have killed her.
3. Don’t buy an ice cream from a street vendor in Calcutta for the entire family because you will all end up with very sick with shigella which will cause bathroom issues that I would rather not go into.
5. Don’t have a cocktails with something about sex in the name in the Greek Islands because you and your husband will end up throwing up for half the next day, and you will wonder if you will ever see your children again (who are staying with your mother).
6. Don’t leap onto your young sons head in the bed next to you when you see a rat in your bedroom on an island in Thailand because he will not appreciate it.
7. Don’t argue about the price with a taxi driver in Vietnam. Especially if he has the door locked so you can’t get out, and leans over to open the glove-box to show you the knife he keeps inside.
8. Don’t use the toilet on tea plantation in Darjeeling because it is the most revolting thing you have ever seen and quite apart from the hygiene issues, the image will be forever imprinted on your brain.
9. Don’t try to cross the road in Cairo unless you know what you are doing.
10. Don’t tell your husband how much you spent on a handbag you bought in Rome because he may have a heart attack.
Please feel free to share any life saving travel advice that you may have. I want us all to be safe out there in the big wide world.