He stormed off to bed, leaving me stewing over divorce lawyers and how we should divide up the dog. “I’ll show him”, I thought and went to sleep in the spare room. I tossed and turned through the night because a: I was still mad and b: I was uncomfortable as I was not used to the bed. But it was all worth it because I was sure he would be realising his faults and that he was totally in the wrong.
In reality, he had a good nights sleep, and got up in the morning, not even noticing I wasn’t in the bed. After taking our dog Bunce for his early morning walk (futile cat hunt, sidewalk pee and poop, other dog poop sniff and vigorous and repetitive ball chasing-the dog I mean not Greg) Bunce came running up the stairs, leaped onto our bed was fast asleep when Greg poked his head in the door a few minutes later. That’s when he finally realised I wasn’t there.
“What are you doing in here?” he asked, when he found me in the spare room.
“What do you think?” I answered. “I am very mad at you.”
“Oh right…well I forgive you,” he said, which was not exactly the reaction I was shooting for, given that he was totally in the wrong.
But there was nothing left to do but make up, especially as we both thought it was pretty funny that he had not suffered or even noticed my lone protest.
“You can have the dog'” I told him, “since he didn’t notice I was missing either.”
“At least now we are even,” Greg said, referring to a similar incident during our first year of marriage. After an argument, he had stormed out of the house and gone for a long walk in the middle of the night, before coming home to sleep in the spare room. He was sure I was lying in bed feeling miserable as he was, when in reality, I had gone straight to sleep and had no idea he had even left the house. We have often laughed about that and neither of us can remember what the argument was even about (but I am sure he was in the wrong).
So, the moral of this sad tale is that the biblical advice about resolving fights before going to bed is probably true for us. Sleeping in separate bedrooms is a waste of time and doesn’t lead to good sleep habits. Of course this will only be effective if he can stay awake long enough to agree that he is in the wrong.